me and @el0himapologist were spitballing and they said maybe it was good to post it. i think an interesting thing is, when we get to discussions on abuse they’ve stopped becoming about the actual victim or what it means for the characters. instead it’s about who should be vilified. but for children especially, picking up abusive habits when you have been exposed to trauma yourself is… just expected? it’s the normalization of things, of the ways you interact with people, of what is okay to say to people, of what boundaries you are allowed to have and what boundaries other people are allowed to have.
constantly i’ve seen it talked about as this thing where an abuser is 100% always on, cartoonish. but the truth is, they are complex people. and this is important for… multiple reasons. it’s important for dissecting and recognizing real world abuse, and it’s important for, well, having compassion for children who have picked up abusive behaviour.
One thing I’d like to bring up, which I talked about with Ducks over IM is that fandom accusations of abuse from a character aren’t always in good faith, honest discussion stuff
a lot of minority characters are automatically labeled as abusive bc of bigotry and it;s not playing into anti culture for minority fans to refuse to talk about that
black fans not accomodating people who claim finn is abusive isn;t anti culture
nd fans not accomodating people who claim anders is abusive isn;t anti culture
I know this isn’t your intent but i’m very used to people using “abuse” to shut down every character who isn’t a perfect flawless token and we also need to acknowledge that
Right, but that’s basically already in my statement. Discussions about abuse have turned into a ‘can this be shipped/can this be enjoyed’. ‘Abuse’ being used as a tool to vilify, rather than address an issue. Which is my issue as well, because as I said, people are more concerned with vilification than the actual characters who have been abused. I feel like this is once again shifting the topic of focus to what this means for vilifying characters or not.
The thing is, on tumblr minority characters are generally the most discussed ones. Realistically, no one has to talk about anything and yes sometimes specific accusations do come from bias and bigotry. But there are characters who are abusive regardless of their status in minority groups. I mean, people shift the focus of discussions about Chara and Asriel’s relationship all the time with statements like that. There is a callout in fandom for most prominent users who have addressed Chara’s actions being abusive. ‘You’re transphobic if you call/believe Chara abusive’ is a statement that has been thrown around.
Part of my point is, it shouldn’t be seen as such a mark on a character to discuss whether an action is abusive in the first place. There shouldn’t be a swinging pendulum of abusive = unforgivable and non-abusive = still capable of redemption. It also does hurt ND fans and people who want to discuss abuse to have their concerns and discussions around trauma shut down like that.
Yes, I’ve seen abuse used in attempts to shut down characters. I also haven’t seen a good discussion on abuse in fiction in years that wasn’t about a 2 dimensional monster parent because if a character is abusive and complex people want to fight for the ‘right to like them’. Because of the very nature of the complexity of children’s relationships, it has been decreed by discourse that peer abuse simply doesn’t exist at all in fiction because children can’t really be abusers, ‘that’s gross’.
and training your entire life to be a hero and having your father beat you regularly for failing to meet his standards and you get into the top hero school in the nation and youre gonna be in and amongst the best of the best at long last
and you look around class 1-a on day one
and like half of these kids decided they wanted to be heroes like 6 months ago
one of them just broke his hand trying to throw a baseball
what the fuck were you even training for
It’s also really depressing, considering Todoroki has essentially been abused his entire life to be at the same place as his peers who just. Have gotten here without having to undergo traumatic training basically all the time. Essentially, I’m sure it’s embittering to realize… not only did your parent abuse you your whole life so you could be the ‘best’, in the end it doesn’t make that much of a difference. It meant nothing, really, and it gave you additional setbacks, and your parent was truly warped and out of touch
Bakugou: Unbelievable. Something you planned actually worked. If this happens a thousand more times, I may have to rethink my whole perception of you.
Midoriya: I love it when you almost respect me.
Todoroki Shouto needs therapy. He has a support system, he has a few friends that understand his situation, but he also needs therapy.
This has honestly been regardless of whether or not he wants his father in his family or not; he needed therapy 10 years ago and still needs it.
But, yes, let’s talk about now. Todo sees Endeavor making an effort to be a decent father, and he’s allowing him a chance. Todo understands that resentment is a valid emotional response (Natsuo), but he, personally, wants to attempt a loving relationship with his father now that said father is trying to make that a possibility. Todo thinks that’s best for TODO, and that’s great. That is how Todo is going to handle this situation, and that is how Todo is going to heal.
It hurts, but I appreciate the fuck out of Hori reminding us that the past still has a profound negative impact on this kid. Todo has psychological scars that remain no matter how much he could come to love his father or how “good” his father is now. He has triggers and flashbacks from then-strangers who don’t know any better (Inasa) and even from friends who are well-meaning (Tokoyami). His father is the No. 1, and EVERYONE has an opinion on that shit.
Potential triggers are literally everywhere for Todoroki; he has PTSD and very little knowledge of coping or maybe even what to call what he has. His support system is great, and it’s having a positive impact on his health. His support system is NECESSARY, but it’s mostly a bunch of little still-growing 15 year-old kids with their own set of problems and very little formal knowledge on what mental illness is or how to manage mental health.
Yes, he’s probably safe right now, but he needs a dedicated professional who can sit down on a regular basis and give him 1. the tools to cope with unavoidable triggers, 2. a name for what he’s experiencing + treatment for PTSD, 3. general therapy, and 4. options if it ever DOES become unsafe for him, because I doubt he really knows.
bakugou can’t even let someone hold him for five seconds before feeling like something disgusting crawled under his skin and lit itself on fire. the fact that all might reached for him by his head to pull him in for that hug was so reflective of so many of bakugo’s issues, as well as what it’ll take to tend to them in the future.
his mother’s primary target when she hits him is his head and then she pats his hair like nothing happened and he’s expected to just accept that. the smell from his quirk undoubtedly causes him some extremely painful migraines and his mind is so overactive that it probably physically hurts him sometimes.
when all might beat the absolute crap out of him during the final exam, he’d grabbed him by the face and smashed the back of his head into the ground.
his head is maybe not his self-described weak point but it absolutely causes him a lot of grief and so to have it cradled like that in a sincere and protective way is probably something he’s never experienced before. reaching for his head before his shoulders or his hand is a very audacious move and it reads as a big part of not just why bakugo rips away from him so fast but also, maybe, why he allowed himself to be touched in the first place.
this is the first time, i think, that he’s been assured that something isn’t his fault. this is the first time something like that is being directly juxtaposed with an action that has been directly utilized to hurt and confuse him, and it’s not being used for that anymore. this is a complete dismantlement of everything he’s probably come to expect by someone putting their hands on him like that and it just sticks out to me as a really important detail that i’m not sure many other people notice or consider the gravity of. it’s such a small gesture but it’s. everything, actually. everything he still can’t quite cope with, everything that’s been used to leave him this warped to begin with. i think some part of him really just wanted to know what that would feel like. what it’d be like if it were different from what he knows.
all might made a mistake with him and midoriya during the final exam and i never liked watching that fight. it was too much, he went too far, and watching them both absorb the attacks they did from their hero when he should have been focusing more on teaching them is really painful. this could almost be compared to the way that mitsuki hits her kid and then pats him in quick succession but that’s the thing — it can’t be. because all might is actually fucking sorry. all might is taking responsibility here for his contribution to the negligence that let bakugou believe that his retirement was his fault. he didn’t raise this kid with the back of his hand and then dare to pretend he can also be gentle.
he’s just sorry. and bakugou’s never had that before. for it to be shown this way is very subtly powerful and i’m not even totally sure horikoshi knows it. i just think about it a lot.
Like you guys do realize it’s shitty to say right. Also stop proxy’ing me cause you’re bored.
That being said, I dislike the trend of the word crackhead being used because uh… Addicts are very vulnerable people in our society. Disproportionately people with mental health issues get into drugs and develop addictions. There is a major overlap with mental health issues, and minority groups developing addictions.
Fuck man, if I can extend compassion after being abused by an addict my whole life you can too.
※Permission to reprint this was given by the artist. Please do not repost without the artist’s permission. If you liked this fanwork, do take the time to rate and bookmark the original work.
Children in
abusive families aren’t accepted nor acknowledged as the valuable member of the
family. They’re being told they’re freeloaders, someone allowed to live in the
house who should be grateful they get to sleep there. They’re considered a
financial burden, and an emotional one, if they ever need attention or care.
They’re told to compare themselves to children who aren’t so lucky and are
starvng on the street, or being abused much worse my caretakers. They’re forced
to count their blessings, as if each and every one of them isn’t used against
them. They’re only being presented as the children to guests and outsiders, who
parents are trying to impress or play normal family game in front of. They’re
being used by parents to feel good about themselves, and then discarded as if
they’re worthless.
In healthy
families no child is considered a burden, or less valuable than any other
person in the family, it’s the opposite, the parents are able to acknowledge
that as the youngest and most vulnerable member, the child should get most
attention, care and help growing up and forming into an individual. In healthy
families there’s no question of letting the child be hungry if there’s food,
threatening them of losing place to sleep if they are able to provide a bed.
There’s no comparing the child to those who were less lucky, it’s parents who
question if they could do anything better, make the life of their child better.
Child doesn’t have to worry about finances, or have anything they have or do used
against them, they know whatever belongs to parents, is theirs as well, and
they know if something goes wrong, parents are going to have their back.
Healthy families give children feeling of safety, stability, value, confidence,
support, and community. They’re a pillar of strength for the child. Child doesn’t have to fulfill certain conditions to deserve it, or work tirelessly to deserve to be a part of the family. There’s no
game of pretense in front of outsiders, they’re not only a child of these
people in certain conditions or when the parents find it convenient, they’re
treated well at all times.
Charlie's Blog 